Sunday, 1 May 1966	KCT
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And back to the usual Sunday all-day-in-the-darkroom routine, and for once we more or less managed it.

Had a few things to do after breakfast - first over to Gillys to get my braces and waistcoat chain, and then to the san, to have some grot put on my hand, which was beginning to sting as a preliminary, I expect, to going septic - put some Gentian Violet on it, and left it at that.

Then to the darkroom, loaded a couple of Pan Fs, and developed same. Now all I have to do is work out how to load that 46 of Mark V into a tank. I fear that I shall have to cut it sooner or later.

Chapel much as ever - the weather is glorious, and really makes one feel like praising the Lord. But when TDH played over the tune to “Praise the Lord” (Austria), I felt it was going too far, for the hymn was “Ye choirs of new Jerusalem”, which rather threw a spanner in the works.

The melody is Haydn's Kaiserhymne, thus the name “Austria”, presumably allocated for the English Hymnal by Vaughan-Williams. At the time it was not (as „Deutschland über alles“) the official national hymn of the German Reich, which still used „Heil dir im Siegerkranz“, amusingly (in this case) sung to the melody of “God Save the King”.

Then got some paper from Stoneleigh, and over to do some prints, and all went nicely until we put them in the fixer, which, as we discovered after we had thrown it away and made some more, was Promicrol. What a damned nuisance. And a waste of paper.

After lunch, up again. There are some wonderful ones of Jenny here, and I am really going to town making really big blow ups of them - but even Pan F in Promicrol is becoming to grainy. I am at a loss as to what to do, and I am considering trying a new developer, which may help. But surely nothing can be much finer grained than Promicrol?

Then out for a walk, as of last summer, in all our glory, with no less than 4 cameras, and I shudder to think how many accessories, and had quite a bit of fun just messing round, shooting effect photos. I feel that Simon is somewhat handicapped with just a camera like the Diaxette. I could hardly do without my 2 SLR's.

Then back again, and it was so hot that we gave up printing and went out in the sun to bask.

Eventually, in to tea, and in the main dining hall, as the Meynell was laid for makan malam.

Got a chit from Popsy to miss the film, as it has already been shown here once, and also I had several to print of Jenny, which I wanted to get done.

Did so, and then remembered that she wanted one or two of me, and did a couple of big blow-ups. This Isopan F in Rodinal is aggressively sharp - much sharper than I have ever seen with Promicrol - but, as one would expect, the grain is also larger.

Then out, and discovered that chapel was not until after supper, and so back in, and with Aston's help (film was out) did 5 more prints to put in my wallet.

After chapel, over to Stoneleigh and got Paul help me do my maths holiday work.

Monday, 2 May 1966	KCT
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Oh the depression of it all! I am gradually getting more and more depressed the longer I stay here. Exams are just not for me. I shall be glad when I have failed them all. I think I ought to go into professional photography at times - I might enjoy myself a lot more than do I now. The question that I really want answered is: assuming I had unlimited ability, what would I most enjoy doing? I wish I knew. Besides, I have let myself get caught in a trap: I am too fond of Jenny for it to be good for me - if only, though, if only I could evermore be with her - I am sure, at the moment, at any rate, that that would suffice for me.

Up at 0620, and when the bell went, down to have a shower. The hot water certainly takes a long time coming in the mornings, and the result was that, today at any rate, I had a cold shower.

Tidied out the darkroom - one photo of Jenny stuck to the glass, and would not come off in one piece. Ah well. It was hardly the best of photos. Unnatural, and too hard. Then mechanics, just after a bitter letter from Lesley. Oh, God. It makes me want to cry.

Reading it in chemistry. I feel I have broken her heart. Clod gave me a paper to do by Saturday.

Maths was easy enough - I wish that I were spared of this cup of double maths.

After lunch, felt dirty, and so, after writing several letters in the Sheldon room - which was not easy, for Paul Callow was there, making a nuisance of himself, and it was rather difficult to answer Lesley anyway, and Jenny (from whom I got a letter at lunch, which cheered me up considerably), needed quite some space - I decided to go over to the changing room and have another shower. If I am not the cleanest bloke in the school this term, I should like to know why. It will not be for want of trying, of that I am certain.

That, unfortunately, took up most of the afternoon, apart from the time I spent trying to pack some photos for her - all very well using the black envelopes, but lately the white ink has not been flowing all that smoothly. Ah well. I eventually diluted it somewhat and had another go.

Then did a bit of recorder practice, and it occurred to me that one of our new boys this term was a £300 oboe and organ scholar called Clough (pronounced in a typically English way) and decided to waylay him in tea and got him to play the oboe part to a couple of trio sonatas I have for recorder, oboe, and continuo.

Accordingly did so, and arranged to see him in hobbies prep, and tried to find Rick Brown to continue, and discovered him doing the Daniel Jazz. Ah well.

Spent 6th period discussing sex life with Dave Kenny and Paul Callow - quite hilarious.

Clough is quite good on the oboe. Gave Watson some continuo part to learn up.

Piano lesson with Gilly - für Elise.

Tuesday, 3 May 1966	KCT
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Oh, depression, depression. Why should I be so depressed at this early stage in the term? I only wish I knew. I feel that nobody loves me, and life is hardly worth living. Oh, just to be evermore with Jenny.

Shower again before breakfast - it certainly wakes one up. I only hope I can keep it up. It requires a fair amount of willpower to get up every morning at 0620 hrs. The Times now has the news on the front page - how disgusting. Now it is as bad as all.

In breakfast came the mail, and for me a letter from Rank Photographic thanking me for my letter about the Super Takumar lenses, and saying that they would look into it. They obviously can't read it.

Then to the san, where I had to see the Doctor about wearing sandals this term. Oni and Kenny also there, mainly, I suspect, in order to be late for Physics. Kenny left soon, but Oni and I stayed until the end of first period. Permission granted for sandals - great. I shall feel a lot happier in these.

Pad - on with some electrostatics question. The thing that worries me about Pad is the way he concentrates on exam technique, no matter how necessary such concentration may be. Chemistry - on with the paper.

After break, double study, in which I tried in vain to revise some mechanics for the test this afternoon.

After lunch, did little. Over to Stoneleigh to write up my diary and a thank-you letter to Mr. and Mrs. Hallett, and only did the latter. Then had another shower, and ordered some sandals from Mrs Smith. Then to maths.

Maths - if ever I was feeling depressed before, I must have felt about 10-20 times worse afterwards. I did not manage to get a single question out in the whole time - and after I thought I had put some revision into it. Ah, well - such is life. I wonder what Jimmy will have to say. I only wish this burden might be taken from me - I think I might even be happy if I were doing maths for science.

Anyway, thus it is, and there is exceptionally little that I can do about it now, apart from study like stink.

After that, down to Clement Clarke's, and had my eyes tested - it is beyond me why they test people who are long sighted with a test chart 5 metres away - I can read the bottom line without my glasses. Anyway, that was that he did, and decided I should be +0,50 sph +0,25 cyl at 180° axis. So I have astigmatism. Ah well, I wonder if it will do anything for my eye strain. I somehow doubt it.

Back to school, and the weather was still glorious, and was only too pleased to get rid of my blazer - though may sundry people have been complaining, or at any rate commenting, on my cravat. Most people cannot remember ever having seen one before.

Did a bit of music practice - I find it quite restful - and posted my letter to the Halletts.

Then over to Stoneleigh, and once more the depression sets in, and so I spent most of prep telling Bugs Jones all my miseries.

2nd prep, and did the Drax maths prep - nobody, apparently, could do no. 2. All the better.

Wednesday, 4 May 1966	KCT.
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Oh, to be far from this place, without a care in the world! Life is weighing too heavily on me at the moment, and I am still badly depressed.

No mail at all - although, admittedly, I was not expecting any - still, I should like to have had some.

After breakfast, had a cup of coffee in the Sheldon room, and then into assembly, after which PE. I have not changed much - put on 250 gm wt, and 10 cm chest expansion instead of 7,5. Same height, but Feet [?] is now taller than me - I am 1,90 m near as makes no difference.

Then lecture, and waited quarter of an hour without anything of world-shattering importance happening, and we were then sent off to do a study period, and up to the science library to have a look at the AP, which came out today. Nothing much this week, but a few good issues coming up.

Then music - a bit of Semele as an example of Helen Watts's voice, and then back to the Meistersingers, and quite good.

Maths, and a mini-test, in which I could have got full marks, but made a small slip.

Chemistry, and now the organic section of the paper.

After lunch, to Meynell study to see Tom Daunt, who gave Dave Hargrave and me a detention each for talking in lines-up. That fellow is too big for his boots.

Then a haircut - I have often wondered where barbers learn their trade. Now, I fear to say, I know. They had one bloke in today, and he had a go at me. Ah well - the other bloke managed to straighten me up.

Then to the darkroom, as it was a free day, and developed a couple of films for Rosser and Hurst, and then decided that, as Mr. Hessey was likely to come in at any moment, we should leave the darkroom work for a while, and concentrate on the tidying up of the darkroom, and took down the old enlarger and put the new one in its place, and took the old one sufficiently to bits to put it away somewhere.

Then in came Pad, and complained about sundry problems. Ah, I wish he were dead.

Loaded some Mark V and Ilford recording film for myself. I wonder how fast the latter is.

Then, after roll call, down town, and first to the Camera Centre, where Simon had already made what enquiries he wanted to make, and all I did was have a look at an Alpa 9f, which does not impress me greatly.

To Grays' where the Agfa filters had arrived, and so back to the other place to cancel the order there.

Library, and got Die Meistersinger out again, and also some books on colour printing.

I wish I could concentrate.

Thursday, 5 May 1966	KCT
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After breakfast two letters - one from Jenny, and one from Lesley. Lesley thought I had just invented Jenny to make her jealous - surely it is obvious that I would have gone to see her in the second half of last holidays had I not been held by by some woman - and what use would disguising the same have done? Jenny had quite a few nice things to say - she is obviously as keen on me as I am on her. I have a hypothesis that love is a rectangular hyperbola, and that affection from one is inversely proportional to affection from the other, and it is obviously difficult to get x=y=c. But perhaps Jenny and I have done it. Who know? But Lesley's y seems to have increased following my decrease in x.

Mechanics - I wish I could get my letters when I have some time to brood over them. Found it difficult to concentrate.

Then study, and wrote a letter to Jenny, and that depressed me as well, as I find it difficult to write letters when I so wish to be with her in person. Then lecture, and with Pen this term, as in fact he had explained in assembly. It all seems to be another use of english period, or rather for the General paper - all sounds rather odd, and a little too much like hard work.

After break, double Pad. After nearly two years of this, one would expect us to get used to it - but such is, unfortunately, not the case.

After lunch, to see Skiv, who told me to get my hair cut again, and wanted to know something about my bank account.

Then to wind band, which is lately starting notoriously late. Something must be done about it. Clough, I noticed, has joined as 2nd oboe. I wonder if Morgan really is better than he.

Then, theoretically, divvers, from which I cannot really escape this term, but it was not on today anyway, and so over to the study room, and half-heartedly did some chemistry. I wish I could snap out of this terrible depression that I am now in - it is still less than a week since I last saw Jenny.

Then maths, and discovered I had had some prep to do, and the fact that Jimmy was a bit worried anyway combined to make him threaten to go to the headmaster about it. Also he was not to happy about me going to the subscription concert tonight. Ah, what the hell. I think I am going to go absolutely bolshy if much more of this happens.

Then to tea, where I rather overspent my time, and arrived 10 minutes late for my Faggott [sic] and Klarinette lessons, both of which I am now having with Mr. Fawcett, as Gerard is sick of me.

Finished that at 1620 hrs, and after going over to the school, came back and wrote a letter to Lesley, which was rather tough going. I have recently been trying to find fault in Jenny - it is difficult, although probably only because I have not known her long enough. Paul may be able to help.

More maths in 1st prep, and in 2nd Subscription Concert - Helen Watts and John Streets, and had coffee with them afterwards. She is rather stuck up, but he interesting to talk to.

No water when we got over - what a laugh!

Friday, 6 May 1966	KCT
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I think it is generally the mail, or the lack of it, which triggers off my daily depression. Today it was the latter cause, and, although I have no cause to expect any mail, this does not make me not expect it. It is all terribly depressing, then, when none comes.

Double chemistry first after assembly, which was done by Clod, and I was late through looking up a value for G - I want to work out the approximate gravitational attraction between me and Jenny.

However, could not work out the distance apart that we were [appears to be about 150 km], and so left it, and on with the paper, which I very shortly finished, and so reading about diazo compounds, and asked Clod a question about it - they must be a favourite subject with him, for he went on for hours, showed me some samples, etc - most interesting.

Then Drax mechanics, and did little there. As often, got stuck on one example, and spent most of the period watching him write it up on the board.

Study period, wrote up my diary, and spent the rest of the time moping - I wish I could snap out of it. I want to spend the summer holidays in Europe, I think.

Then physics, not, as I had feared, with Pad, but with Vaddon, and all we had to do was revise.

No orchestra practice - people are rehearsing for some Christian aid concert tonight, and I was not required, and so off to the Sheldon room, where I consumed a couple of cups of coffee.

Then double Pad in earnest, and on, ever on, with electrostatics - it is getting a bit boring, and I keep thinking of Jenny - I wish I could get her off my mind - but, unfortunately, I do not seem to be able to do so.

Fortunately, however, Pad did not have much of importance to say - taking about some Russian scientist who was working on magnetism in the Cavendish with Rutherford, and who has just recently come back to England for a visit, after having been in Russia for 32 years.

Then to tea in the Meynell dining hall, and while there, somebody said it would be a free day, and so decided to make up some chemicals for C22 tomorrow, and Paul decided to do some printing, and accordingly both to our respective places, and I in a bit of a flurry and got Ricky Cookson to help me weigh out and Allen to make up the Part 2 chemicals in the Kodak pack, which Grays had given us at the end of last term. Eventually got all finished, after discovering we had no Na₂SO₃, and had to make some NaKSO₃, and hope that it will be alright.

What a maths prep - spent most of the evening trying it, to little avail.

Saturday, 7 May 1966	KCT
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No mail again - not that I expect any, although I suppose it is about time I heard from Rank photographic about the speed of Pentax lenses, but I rather expect that they will be making quite a deep investigation into the subject.

Viewed from 50 years later, I rather suspect they put it into the round file.

After breakfast, spent quite a bit of time writing a last line to a letter of Foxons to his bird, in russian - писати палуижуста скоро, or something. I doubt that it is correct, but what does that matter?

After some research, I've decided that I meant “Please write soon”, or пиши́ пожалуйста скоро. I should at least have got пожалуйста (please) right.

Then double maths, and we were spared the agony of a test until Henderson came in the 2nd period, but in the meantime he went over what our prep was. And to think I understood conic sections!

The test was rather an anticlimax - it was very easy, and I reckon I did quite well at it. Better than Norm, anyway.

Norm was presumably Norman, the other boy doing the advanced mathematics stream. He was a much better mathematician than I.

Then art, and Cocky-Locky spent the entire period telling us about his exhibition, which is now showing somewhere in North London. At least two people from here went to it on the opening night.

Then chemistry, and Clod came in nearly crying because I hadn't done frightfully well in the recent test, and told the whole form all about it. Complaining all about my brecoity [? That's what it looks like]

English - got a book “Room at the top”, and read it. Quite interesting - I shall enjoy writing an essay on that.

After lunch, saw Drax about driving lessons, and then had a cup of coffee in the Sheldon room, and got round to preparing for all the colour work which I intended to do in the afternoon, but at 1345 got chich, and over to Stoneleigh to have a shower, and then back again, and made up the Agfacolor developer, which I notice they think should mature for 12 hours before use. I rather tend to think that this is rather unlikely, but will just have to find out.

Then got down to the C22s, and away to quite a nice start, and had developed and stopped 2 CEs before anybody came in to help me, and the shock was such that I put some bleach in on top of it, but soon realised my mistake, and fixed it up OK. Then people started pouring in - Cookson (who was already there), Allen, Simon, and Paul who started doing his. It eventuated that Cookson (iii) had handed a chit in for himself, Allen and me, but I had to deliver one for Paul.

We had difficulty using the darkroom because the teachers were concerned about homosexual activities in a room where people were not allowed to enter at any time. For some reason, two boys were allowed, but more required permission. This was, of course, a time and place when homosexuality was a criminal offence.

After when I should have been at roll call, to do my detention, and after that back to the chemistry labs to get all the chemicals, and up and made some test strips, and quite encouraging, if a bit cyan. Next print was too light and about 05 yellow. Now to try masked negatives.

Tried some Eastmancolor negatives in the evening, and, as expected, quite a bit of cyan required, though not nearly as much as one would have expected - some only required 25 (taken into the setting sun, admittedly). Spilt developer all over my pants.

Sunday, 8 May 1966	KCT
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Colour printing, colour printing, colour printing - well, I know enough about it now, after spending the whole day on it.

Up before rising bell by a long way, and over to do a print of Jenny, and got moving before breakfast with one print, and it took me a little longer than I had. Mr. Megarloy, the new history master, walked in at the end, but did not complain or even comment on my presence.

Up there again immediately after breakfast, and doing a few more - all these ones taken in the setting sun, requiring very little filtration. Quite a few people up, quite willing to help, and got moving quite well, and with rather good coördination.

Then chapel, which, for some reason, moved me considerably, and I am beginning to wonder if something is not happening to me - I might end up being a Christian in the end, and sometimes I wonder if it would not be a good thing for me as well.

Back up again after chapel, and off again with more prints. Jenny has me completely captivated, and I cannot get her out of my mind - her eyes, which are so beautiful, are beautifully reproduced on the Agfacolor paper.

And so on, and only a couple of prints done before lunch.

After lunch, straight up again, and straight daylight, which, as I expected, needed a lot more cyan, up to about 75, and, as eventuated, a bit of magenta - about 10-20 - as well. But I still have not really got the feeling of the filters, which are rather confusing. Made about 4 prints of Jenny, all too blue/cyan/green, before being bold enough to chuck a 00 20 10 into the pack.

Then out, a bit late for a walk, and almost as soon as we got out, it started raining, and so Simon and I set off back, and immediately down to do a batch of daylight prints, which I developed in the water bath for 5 minutes before I realised what I was doing - not madly successful, but on the other hand not bad, apart from one underexposed one of Jenny and Culver Cliff. Then made some test strips to see if the safelight (Wratten 3) was safe for the paper, and developed it together with some other prints, and it seemed to show it was perfectly safe. The other prints are very good, too.

After tea, and roll call, for which I was late - I have only been on time for one roll call this term - back to work, and did a big one of Jenny, which proved to be far too overexposed, but corrected that, and did 3 of them.

Thus elated, for they were beautiful prints, set off to do some Kodacolor, and foolishly did not bother to check the filtration, with the result that they all came out too magenta.

After supper, tidied up, loaded 17 m of Pan F, and dish developed a VP127. Then back to consider a successful day, and quite early to bed. Ah, Jenny, Jenny. To just be with thee.

Monday, 9 May 1966	KCT
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And another week goes by - ah, if only I had the courage to face up to life, I should be a lot happier, and probably a lot better off as well.

The mail was on time today, and a letter from my beloved - do I really love her more than any other girl? definitely, at any rate as much as any other. And, I feel, she is returning more love than I have had from any other girl.

After breakfast, up to tidy up the darkroom, which was already pretty tidy, but put the final finishing touches.

Mechanics - a test, and finished it and could not help thinking of Jenny thereafter. I have seldom thought about a girl for this length of time. I cannot endure the thought of going back to Malaysia for the summer holidays.

Chemistry - at least Clod has given up pulling my paper to bits. Even promised an organic practical on Friday.

Double maths, and discovered that I had once again forgotten a prep, but did not tell Jimmy. Fortunately, before I was discovered, he moved on to something else. Then maths for science, and the results of our test on Saturday - I got joint equal [best?] mark of 29/30. I feel I am coming to life again.

After lunch, to the Sheldon room for a while, but was soon moved to write reams of paper to Jenny, and for this purpose borrowed Ng's typewriter, and reeled off 3 pages of type to her - she wrote quite a bit herself in her 4 pages, and I was in a mood to extend it ad infinitum, and only stopped because of time and the fact that the machine was in pretty poor shape. I mentioned to her that I might say here in the summer holidays, and also asked her once again if she could come on Sports day - she has been steering clear of this subject, I fear, and it depressed me somewhat.

Then off to tea, and after that had intended going back to the study room to write a letter to Mum & Dad, but somehow could not face it, and so to a music practice room to have a go on my Sopranschnabelflöte [descant recorder], which I have not played for some time - how sweet and soft it sounds - truly more of a flûte douce than the treble recorder.

I still have this instrument. It's not the way I would describe it now.

Then, at 1620, a Sheldon society meeting, which in which the future of the room was hotly debated. Pad was an absolute bastard, refusing to budge a centimetre from his extremist views of opening it to the whole 6th form.

Then piano lesson, for which I was late, owing to the meeting. 6 distinctive studies awaited me. I am beginning to find it easier to read chords as chords rather than individual notes. Good.

Tuesday, 10 May 1966	KCT
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And again no mail - n'importe.. I am quite (relatively) happy to wait until Thursday until I hear from Jenny - but I shall probably go stark, staring mad if I don't hear from her then. I am sure I would be completely depressed for the whole day - Oh please, Jenny, write tonight. But it is beyond my control. She loves me - she loves me not.

After breakfast, did little. Lately I am becoming more conscious of the fact that I have odd little bits of time on my hand, with which I cannot do anything useful. Sitting in the Sheldon room helps, I suppose.

After assembly, double Pad, and he went over the questions that most, though by no means all of us, did for prep, and all went fairly well until he got onto potentiometers, and then he got stuck explaining how to calibrate a potentiometer for only a couple of millivolts. For once in a while, he was right, but nobody seemed to realise it.

Then chemistry with Clod - one of his silent periods, in which he said almost nothing - gave back our papers. He had scribbled all over mine.

Then double study - read “Room at the top” again. It is becoming unbelievably exciting, although also rather depressing - how could a bloke of 25 forsake a bird of 19, and perfect in every detail, for a bitch of 34? I conjure up an image of the former like Jenny, although she had black hair and brown eyes - it just does not seem to fit.

After lunch, in the Sheldon room after having a shower. Mrs. Smith had some soup for me, but I could not be bothered to wait in the queue.

Then double maths, and, as Norm feared, we had a surprise test, in which, nevertheless, I did considerably better (or I hope I did) than in last week's test, about which I had been warned. I think I must have panicked last week - Jimmy gave me back my paper: 14%. I can't kid myself that that is good enough.

Then to tea, and spoke with Paul, and after a while off. Mr. Vodden grabbed me to tell me that I wasn't good enough to go to the dance on Saturday. In a way, I am grateful I am a one-girl man, and I don't want to be tempted by others. I can't really find enough room in my heart for more than one girl, though naturally I like the attraction of others.

Then to the study room once again to carry on reading “Room at the Top”, which is increasingly interesting. but it depresses me terribly, and makes me long for Jenny.

Then took a letter to Dr. Fleming to the San, and back to do some prep.

Worked late, finished “Room at the Top” - anticlimax, and rather plenty of it - and started writing to Mum, Dad and Bev.

Wednesday, 11 May 1966	KCT.
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And on go the days without much to distinguish them. I find it difficult, on looking back on my diary of a year or so ago, to distinguish between happenings on individual days - it is possible, but not easily so.

After breakfast, no hope of getting any letters - or at any rate, it seemed very unlikely - so did not bother to go back to the common room but instead up to the Sheldon room, in order to have a cup of coffee, which had also occurred to Richard Moore, who was surreptitiously sipping a cup of the brew.

Thence straight to assembly, whence to P.E., and once again it was raining, and so had to stay in the Gym and do circuit training, which was not as exhausting as it usually is, although afterwards in 2nd period, when I was writing my essay for Pen for tomorrow, I found that my had was shaking with exhaustion.

Then music - Paul Athanasiadis told me that I had a letter from Rank. It is a most wonderful opera. Rank think f/1,4 STak is faster than f/1,8.

Maths, and went over the prep that we had for him, and then on to do a but more revision. I am getting fed up with revision, but I suppose we need it.

After that, chemistry, with Pricky Cann, as Clod was in London. He, too, issued some revision sheets.

After lunch, thank God, no choir practice, and so up to the Sheldon room after first showing some photocopies to Skiv, who was most impressed. Paul Callow was showing me his Rolleicord, of which, without nunt [?] justification, he is very proud. It has one of the dimmest viewfinders I have ever seen on any camera - about the same as my camera reflex screen at f/16.

Then finished off my L IFF, and up to the darkroom to develop it. A lot of those ones of Jenny have come out wonderfully - and the passport one for Phil Partridge is OK, apart from a spot on the nose.

Then quickly chucked out by Hessey, who, as I guessed, and was later confirmed, was preparing stuff for the 'A' levels practical exam.

Did a bit of music practice then for a while, after which to tea, and there spoke a great deal about driving licenses and Mick Henderson told me where to go.

Down accordingly, and first to Grays, where I had to take the old MPP enlarger - of which, thank God, we are rid forever. Then to Clement Clarkes, and took my prescription there.

Then to the equivalent of the RIMV, whatever they call it in this country,

RIMV was the Registrar and Inspector of Motor Vehicles, the term still in use in Malaysia at the time.

and on the way into Collards, and found Cookson iii, and got him to get some coffee which Daw wanted me to get for him. Then on to R.IMV, which was closed. Lot of use.

After that back, and rang Mrs. Baudouy, but engaged. Ah well (Try)³ again.

Did little in the evening. Rank are now selling the Spotmatic for £118 with f/1,8 lens... I wonder why!

Thursday, 12 May 1966	KCT
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Spent quite some time lying in bed this morning, thinking mainly of Jenny, who might quite we lave been doing likewise. It struck me that I would probably be depressed all day long if I did not get a letter from her today. I really am dependent on her - and love every minute of it.

A.P. arrived today, a day late. Nikon have a 55 mm f/1,2 lens, whereas with Pentax, as I observed yesterday, we seem to be back to an f/1,8 lens.

Up to the Sheldon room after breakfast, and had come coffee. Letter, in a really stylish green envelope, from Jenny - 5½ pages, which is quite something for somebody who claims never to have enough to write about.

After mechanics, in which we went over some work we did for Drax, wrote 5 sides to her, and that took the whole period, and then to Pen lecture, where he gave us another essay to write about in the period. I wrote on “Music is pattern, not passion, but 'twas not the only good one.

Then, after lunch, wind band, and we are now doing “The sound of Music”, with which I, for one, am delighted, and I have no reason to suppose that anybody else feels differently about it. But, as TDH observed, they have left some of the best songs out.

Then to divvers - both Jenny and I, who both got off last term, have had to go back again. Talking about what happened in the ecclesiastical [?] world since last they met.

After that, double maths, and in rather hot water because of my inability to do my prep. I wish I were a little less fuzzy about all this.

Tea, and then fagott/clarinette lesson, and this week, only did the latter. Mr Fawcett has managed to get me 10 Vandoren reeds, which sound quite promising. Went on and on, playing various things at sight, until we (or rather he - I knew) discovered it was 1620, and then he off, and I to finish off my letter to Jenny, and wrote another 3 pages. I wish I had time to write a really long letter to her, but alas! such is not the case.

Then to have a shower - I wish the water in this country was not so abominably hard. I have boiler scale all over my chest (OK, (C₁₇H₃₅COO)₂Ca, then).

Until coming to England, I had lived most of my life in places with very soft water.

Double maths - more complaints about my work from Jimmy. Ah, I have had it. I feel like chucking it all in.

I will just have to give it up as a bad job.

Friday, 13 May 1966	KCT
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Friday is too often the 13th to really be as unlucky as it is commonly supposed to be - if it happened less frequently, like a Good Friday the 13th, then there might be something to it, but there is obviously an average of one every 7 months like this.

Letter from Lesley after breakfast, and very nice she was about the whole thing, and thereto [sic] am I very happy - I would have hated it to make her unhappy - she is still very dear to me.

After assembly, in which Clod spent 10 minutes talking about voluntary san messengers, double Chemistry, and Clod gave us a couple of substances to test, and I had a pretty good guess beforehand. However, he caught me out with some ammonium alum, which I thought was potash alum - still, close enough by inspection. The other one was PbO₂.

Then mechanics, in which we did exceptionally little, and spent the greater part of the time talking to Simon.

V.S.M. in break, and had to deliver something to Sister Treadwell, who was here last term, and also got a confirmation card for Broadbridge. Then checking for Clod what chemicals they had in stock, and soon eventually shoved off because nobody was paying any attention to him.

Physics - doing some 'S' level work on the wave theory, etc. ∂²x/∂t² = c² ∂²y/∂x². Interesting.

After lunch, as usual to the Sheldon room. Now that our independence is threatened, we are beginning to frequent it much more and guard it more dearly.

Double Pad - at least we are off potentiometers, and instead on to magnetism, and somehow, towards the end (I was not paying much attention) got on to AC. I wish we could go over heat - I know most of this already. Lewis asked something about non-sinusoidal waveforms, and Pad asked me. They seem to think that the multivibrator is a difficult circuit.

Then out, and was just going along to tea when I found Clough, and ended up in a music room playing some Händel. He is quite a good accompanist.

Then to tea, until 1530, and back to the inside music room to exploit our privileges as music scholars, and did some practice (eventually) on the Loeillet and Quantz Trio-Sonaten, which was rather good. Now all we need is a decent continuo. Also had a look through some folders, and found a lot of music which Pete Chivers left behind when he left. Gave some to Clough, kept the rest for myself.

Writing some music for Jenny in prep - not madly successful. Will be far too difficult.

Saturday, 14 May 1966	KCT
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And no mail, not that I was expecting any - just “Wireless World”, which seems to be coming despite the fact that I did not order it this year - or at least, I don't think so.

After breakfast, the usual cup of coffee in the Sheldon room. It is quite restful.

Then over to Stoneleigh to get books out, and to assembly, in which Pen had a few words to say about the dance tonight, which, unfortunately are not likely to affect me.

Double maths - Oh God, maths sickens me. And we have so much work to do. I have 2 whole papers due some time next week. I am fed up with the whole state of affairs. I am not so sure if I don't mind failing maths 'A' level. It would certainly do my nerves a lot of good if I made up my mind to fail.

Then art - Oh God, is Cocky-Locky boring. I really can't stand it at times.

Then, after break, chemistry with Clod, in which we did next to nothing, which rather surprised me, for I though he would be urging us to write it up.

English - study, in which I wrote to Lesley, and helped Jones do the Telegraph crossword, which was terribly easy.

After lunch, yet again in the Sheldon room, and was called upon by Furn-Cox [?] to show Saunders how to use the enlarger, during which process my coffee got cold.

Stayed there until 1330, and then decided not to turn up for pioneers, and instead to the fort, after which did a bit of music practice until 1415, and then over to Stoneleigh for a shower, and back over to the school and decided to get a few photos of the cricket, and so got my Edixa and 400 mm lens out, and took some photos. 5 wickets fell while we were watching, and I only caught one of them. I really must buck my ideas up somewhat.

Then talking with film appreciation society committee about “Charade”, in which they want us to go 50/50 again. Simon considers it a possibility.

“We” were the photographic society. I think I was president at the time.

Then down town, and to Gray's, and there is a new book, the Pentax Manual out, at 42/-, which, I am afraid, is not very wonderful.

To Clement Clarkes, and had my new glasses fitted. I like their appearance rather more than my old ones - I suspect they are well-nigh identical to Dad's, except in colour.

To Camera Centre - Leica still not sold. Ah well. Try sending it back to Dixons.

Rang Mrs. Baudouy in the evening - she will wait for the money. Also writing about driving.

Sunday, 15 May 1966	KCT
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The usual sort of Sunday - I am not too sure, though, that I like spending it thus, completely - or very nearly so - in the darkroom. Going up there before breakfast, however, is more or less out now that I have a shower every morning.

After breakfast, up to the Sheldon room, and read an article in the Sunday times about love - the magazine this week was devoted almost entirely thereto.

After a while, thought about developing some films, and into the darkroom, where Paul was acting on the result of having had similar thoughts, and we ended up loading 6 films, including the 1,8 metres of Mark V, which, not surprisingly, did not all go into the spiral.

A normal 36 exposure film is 1.64 m long, and that's what the spirals were designed for.

Had a bit of trouble, also, loading Paul's last one - the Spiral would not stay the right width.

Then chapel, which was supposed to be extra good because the Preacher was from the BBC, and so did the Joubert to impress him, which was somewhat of a flop.

Then up again to the darkroom, which was in a slight state of disrepair, and ended up making absolutely new everything - it is a long time since we had such an effective purge. Developed 6 films while we were at it, as well.

After lunch, Paul wanted to do some printing, but took so long getting ready that Simon and I got ready and had done a dozen or so prints by the time he had got back. Then decided to leave it until after the outside period, and off for a walk, without Simon, and to our old stamping ground, and discovered lots of odd aquatic life in the nearby gutter. I must bring some flash and extension tubes next time I come and have another look. Some type of slug there which builds its shell in a stick - most fascinating. Shelled one, and had a look at it trying to find somewhere else to nest in, and found them all full.

After that, back again, and up to the darkroom with intent do do more prints, but did not really get round to it, and only did 3 before roll call. I shall have to do one hell of a lot this summer to make up for it, and some really big ones, at that. My Wilm [?] should do that on the floor - or Dads 28 mm Canon otherwise.

After roll call, up, and did about 15 prints of Iolanthe, and then got so fed up that I gave up, though I was raking in 6d a go.

Down, and gave various people prints that they had wanted done, and then went round looking for photo subjects.

I feel at a loose end, and wish I could get down to something constructive.

Monday, 16 May 1966	KCT
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Woke up late this morning, possibly because there was no bell for chapel at 0600 hrs, and got up, down, and had a cold shower, which did not have the usual effect of waking me up. Instead I felt more tired after than before, and sort of walked in a daze towards breakfast.

After breakfast, in the Sheldon room, and sort of had a conviction that I would not get a letter from Jenny. Tried to dispel it, with little success, especially when I got down to the common room and discovered it was a true one.

After assembly, mechanics. I just could not concentrate - oh Jenny, why? Can you so soon have forgotten your love or what-have-you for me? I found it difficult to think of anything else.

Then double chemistry, and did nothing of much importance there either, and sat there while Clod told us all that was wrong with what we had done in our exam papers the week before last. I suppose that one does, after a fashion, learn something from Clod - but it can surely not be much.

Double maths, and did study periods, as Jimmy was away, and in that time actually did some work, as much to my surprise as anybody elses who might have been observing.

After lunch, as ever to the Sheldon room, and then decided to write to Jenny, as I could think of little else to do, but then changed my mind, got dressed, and went down town to get myself a driving license, which is well due, if I want to start driving lessons tomorrow.

Down accordingly to the equivalent of the RIMV (which is the local taxation office - not very impressive nor likely sounding name but this it is. Filled in a form, which despite all, was not nearly as searching as the one for a Malayan driving licence either - the queue was longer, but I don't think there were so many people in it. People do not queue-barge in this country.

Then off back to school, and decided I might as well get down to my letter to Jenny, and so missed tea in order to do so, and up to Stoneleigh, where I wrote 3 rather bitter pages - but I feel it will be in our best interests to knew where we stand.

Carried on thus until about 1610 hrs, and then down and had a shower, and over to the Sheldon room, where we had a meeting with Pen at 1630, about the future of the Sheldon room. He has, thank God, accepted my proposition, although increased my number of 10-15 to 15-20.

Then piano lesson. Exercise on fluency, and rather interesting. Finished it off, and spent the last few minutes talking about harmony. Interesting.

Tuesday, 17 May 1966	KCT
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Ah - thank God! She loves me yet. I might have known. I wish fervently that there was some concise, clear way of saying what I think about Jenny. But what the hell - I obviously cannot. I mist have read the letter about 5 times before assembly. She put in a quotation out of the birthday book “The heights by great mean gained and kept, were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upwards in the night”. A very good quotation, and I feel, one that is very apt for me. I wish I could take a little more heed of it. I am seriously beginning to wonder what my line of work would be - I am getting seriously fed up with academic work. I wonder if I ought go to in for something with more chance of success. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't rather go in for architecture even - I enjoy going with Dad on all his site visits, and know quite a bit about the subject.

Double Pad was not particularly interesting, and on still about AC and so on. I know a lot of this better than Pad.

Chemistry, and did even less. Oh, this “academic obfuscation” gets me down. I want to get away from it all.

Wrote to Jenny after break - finished off at 11 pages.

After lunch, up to the Sheldon room, and stayed there for such a long time that I had no time for a shower, so just washed my feet (they needed it), and then off to double maths.

Oh, God, I feel depressed. Perhaps I am just ill-informed, but I do not really think I am cut out for a life indoors doing laboratory work and hundreds of calculations with it - still, perhaps I am wrong. I wonder just how great is the incentive of any bloke of my age to follow his father's profession.

Anyway, went over some of the paper in maths, and then went on. I just can't take all this maths - there are times when I honestly think I am going to crack up.

After maths, put my books away, and then to the Front Square, where I found Drax talking to Mrs. Lewis, who is a nice enough person to talk to, and before long were joined by Johnson and King, and then set off onto the Minehead road, and she told us what to do, and then gave us a turn at the wheel - me first, and in my half-hour went right around the circuit which she uses for most of the stuff. The 3rd gear is a bit of a bastard - can't get into it from either direction without grinding. Then King and Johnson had a go, and got round again, and then back to school. My driving has rather taken a turn for the worse, I fear - I am not nearly as good as I used to think.

In prep, flat out on maths. This is doing me no good at all - I flew off the handle 3 times in 2nd prep, and I am really worried about whether I can hold out to 'A' level.

Wednesday, 18 May 1966	KCT
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AP came, and no mail, not that that makes much difference any more. I am getting more and more depressed as time goes by, and am just living for when A levels are over and done with. I think that unless something happens fairly soon, I shall go stark raving mad or run amok or something.

Spent all the time before assembly in the Sheldon room. Pen noticed my sandals, and commented on my lack of socks - not, thank God, unfavourably. He is about the only fellow who has not.

The school rules explicitly allowed boys to wear sandals with a doctor's approval, which I had received two weeks previously. In my time at Kings', I was the only person to do so. And it hadn't even occurred to me that I was expected to wear socks with them.

PE first, and on the bottom fields, and first a relay, in which we came 2nd, and then standards - I just took photos of other people trying them.

After that, study, and did not get moving until about 0900 hrs, having a very long shower. Then did little - just sat and read. I am lately feeling too exhausted to do anything.

Then Physics with Pad. SCUVI, and went over a couple of my S level questions.

Maths after break, and spent the whole period doing a paper, which was rather in vain. Then chemistry, in which we did even less. Oh, to be with Jenny - I am always thinking of her.

After lunch, choir practice, for which I was late. At the end, had a go at the Joubert credo, which I think is absolutely wonderful, but unfortunately few people agree with me.

This seems to be a general situation. I have been unable to find a recording.

Then Paul Callow somehow or another persuaded me to come down and take some photos of the athletic goings-on in the bottom fields, and so down, with Edixa, Pentax and 3 Super Takumars for both, which came in handy. Quite a few people down there taking photos - I rather hope I will have a lot to develop after sports day. All I have to do is find time to load the tanks.

After that, up with Simon to order the films and paper for the society this term. Use of the darkroom looks to like rocketing - we had about 1500 sheets of paper ordered. I decided to get 10 sheets of 20×24, which will cost me about £1. Just [?] now to find some photos of Jenny which will take that much of a blow-up. Sort of shape paper one wants for a full face, rather than anything else.

Then to tea, and after roll call, down town with Pauls Callow and Hallett. First to Grays, but did not enter, and then to the Camera Centre, with which I am getting more and more fed up.

Bought some cheese at the International stores, while Paul was buying some. Danish Blue is quite cheap.

Then back to school, and up to the Sheldon room, where we now have 17 associate members, who are making good use thereof. At least Paul is allowed in.

Thursday, 19 May 1966	KCT
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This place is like a monastery - up this morning at 0615 hrs for a service to celebrate the ascension of God-knows-who, and that before breakfast - the idea apparently is something to do with holy communion - today being a specially propitious time so to do. In any case, a very large number of people did go, and the service lasted a correspondingly long time.

Then breakfast, and most of us were well ready for it - I, for one, was ravenous. At least, however, it meant that we missed first period, for which I was rather grateful, as I did not know what I should be doing in that time.

2nd period with Pad, who did not come in for the first 15 minutes, which I spent looking at a Newtons Rings experiment which Paul Callow had set up. Quite good - a large number was visible.

Then, theoretically, lecture, but for some reason Pen was unable to attend - possibly because he had not marked our papers. Did little of use.

Double Pad after break, and I really must do something about the pint of milk I drink every break. It is a little pressing by lunchtime. On about AC.

Wind band after lunch, and we are gradually improving our standard of performance, which lately has not been very high.

After that, divvers, for which once again I was late - I thing [sic] the Chaplain has been getting a bit fed up with it all. Reading a new proposed communion service, which has only just been published, and it is not very radically different from the present one - but they do intend to change the position of the Gloria for the benefit of those who prefer its old position.

The Anglican communion service is derived from the Roman Catholic mass. At the time, one significant difference in the ordinary was the position of the Gloria: the Catholics placed it between Kyrie and Credo, while the Anglicans placed it at the end of the service, after the Agnus Dei.

I haven't followed the details since then, but in June 2015 I discover that the church has both options: “Order one” has the Gloria in its traditional position, and “Order two” has it at the end.

Then maths, in which I told Jimmy straight that I could hardly do any of the last prep he set us, and got him to do them all for me.

Then off to tea, in which I was in too much of a hurry to do anything, and off for a clarinet/bassoon lesson, and played the latter this time, although not for long. It is much easier, and more fun, to do that, and besides, I had music and reeds for the clarinet.

After that, at a loose end for a while - no letter to write to Jenny, not that I had been expecting one, but it did mean I would have had something to do.

After a shower, over to the school to do some music practice on the recorder. Rather enjoyed it, and carried on just about until the beginning of prep.

Did little in prep. I am becoming lazy again. Must just keep going until A levels, and then do whatever I can. I don't care if I don't go to Cambridge - what the hell.

Double maths in 2nd prep - we are not doing mechanics in class any more, but he gave us a paper to do.

Friday, 20 May 1966	KCT
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No mail again - what the hell. Thank God, anyway, that I am rather getting over that fit of depression which got hold of me the other day - I was really dreading what the future might bring, I was feeling so bad.

Allen dragged me out of the Sheldon room, and I discovered that there was after all, plenty of mail - letters from Jenny and Lesley, the latter with negatives which would be a challenge to any intensifier going, and also photographic material from AW Young and Campkins Camera Centre. Good work. Now we are just waiting for DPS.

Then double chemistry, and Clod brought us in a paper to do, and then out to see the partial eclipse of the sun, and came back, and gave us an on-the-spot account.

Then mechanics, and Drax gave us all pieces of coloured glass to look at it with. I preferred to throw an image with a long focus lens.

Wrote to Jenny after break - not very long, for both of us are flat out.

Then physics, studying up wave theory again. Ah well.

After lunch, in the Sheldon room. Malcolm Lennox reckons that that place has gone to the Dogs since they admitted the new members, but I beg to differ. I reckon that place is just that much better because of it. One must admit that it was inhabited almost completely by a clique before now.

Then double Pad, and more complex (for most of them) physics about AC, vector diagrams, the lot. All terribly involved, or so it would seem.

After that, after going to the fort - double Pad always makes me feel like a piss - to tea, and arguing like hell with Paul about phase in inductors and capacitors, and he beat me. Damn.

Then, theoretically, music practice with Clough, Brown and Watson, but not one of them turned up, so after about ¼ hour gave it up as a bad job, and off to wash myself, but changed my mind, and decided to intensify Lesley's negatives. The Cu intensifier proved absolutely useless, and so chucked it away, washed them again, and off to look for some really powerful intensifier. Hg - CN seems to be the shot, but terribly poisonous.

Then washed at last - missed this morning's shower - and to prep, in which I did little.

2nd prep, choir practice, and recording the Joubert mass. What a laugh!

Saturday, 21 May 1966	KCT
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Letter from Dad, written over the South China sea today. Bev is coming back! Great - I shall enjoy that. I wonder, though, whether she will be staying for the summer holidays - Mum & Dad don't mind if I do, and I will certainly enjoy it - ah, Jenny - just to be with you is ecstasy.

After breakfast, discussing what would happen when Bev came over up in the Sheldon room. Could be rather fun.

After assembly, double maths, and in first period Jimmy went over the paper we were supposed to do over the past week. He has even put up a schedule for the next 6 weeks for me, and I am getting once again depressed.

Then a test, in which I feel I did rather better than average, although not as well as i might have done. Still, these are far, far easier than 'A' level double maths.

Art, which I spent discussing the holidays with Paul, and Cocky Locky complained about the noise.

Then chemistry, and again doing next to nothing, although supposedly a paper. Discovered we had to do an essay in English, and wrote a complaint about the West intruding into Asia.

After lunch, up to the Sheldon room for coffee, and by the time I had finished, the car parkers had started, so I did not participate.

After a while, teamed up with Pauls Hallett and Callow, got our cameras, and headed down to the bottom fields, to see what we could get of the sports and quite a few other people about as well - although I only saw one other SLR, a Kowa belonging to David Hargrave's father, about which I knew anyway. Had some accessory telephoto and wide angle lenses, which I discovered had a 49 mm thread - what a laugh! Fitted beautifully onto my camera. Extended the versatility somewhat further, too.

Then the prize giving, and that, as usual, was boring. Tea was doughnuts and tea outside rooms 27 and 28 and I only had the former, and then dashed downtown to get my Leica to see if I can sell it here. Bradman seems to be interested.

Then up to the darkroom, where I showed it to MacDonald Smith, who said yes, it is a very nice camera, I would like to buy it, but too much for my pocket.

Showed him how to develop a film, and then off for some coffee in the Sheldon room. Paul (Hallett) and I decided to go to Luccombe tomorrow by thumb.

Spent 1st prep in the Meynell common room, and 2nd in the darkroom, developing dozens of films. Quite a change from the expected quiet evening.

Sunday, 22 May 1966	KCT → Exmoor → KCT
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Up fairly early this morning for my shower, which lately I have been missing at this hour, and then prepared for my exeat. Skiv had signed it, but also written “see me” on it.

After breakfast, up to the Sheldon room, and after a while over to the darkroom, to load some film, and loaded about 30ft of the stuff - 5 for myself to try it out.

Paul Callow wanted to develop a film, at the end, however, decided there was not enough time left to do justice to it.

Saw Skiv - he thought I should have been working - I did not have enough chance to defend myself at the time, but did afterwards, and said I was getting depressed by pressure of work, and he let me go. Raining like hell before chapel, but did not let it worry me, and fortunately that took care of itself.

Eventually got off, about 15 minutes after the end of chapel, and then out onto the Minehead road, and got a lift with Blain, mother, and Crabb. Then another with Uncle Phil and family - he was driving. What a laugh. As far as Williton. Then Parrys gave us a lift to the Luccombe turn-off, and we walked the remaining 1¼ miles - Luccombe is not as nice as had I expected. It was all rather deceptive, in fact. Had our packet lunch on the grave of Samuel John Partridge, and then in to have a look at the organ of the church - it is quite nice, but I don't think I would like to get married to Jenny there. Why not Chagford, or somewhere like that - in fact, come to think of it, Selworthy would be rather nice. Paul got a photo of me playing the organ - quite a nice little thing.

Then off, and got a lift, ostensibly to Dunkery beacon, but before we knew where we were, we were going along through Exford, Simonsbath, and eventually ended up at Oare, which is rather nice, and there was a path to the Doone Valley, for which privelige [sic] one had to pay 6d, and so Paul and I did not bother, but instead went to have a look at the church at Oare, at which, I think I am correct in saying, Lorna Doone was married... that might be a good place..... I must be gone over Jenny. I am really thinking seriously of marriage.

Back, with the same people, along the Porlock toll road, through Porlock, and past Selworthy, and they dropped us at Dunster, and then got a lift from a couple who live in the Taunton area, and they took us down bu the Odeon, from which we walked back. Back very early - even before Paul's exeat expired at 1720. That is the trouble with hitching. You can't work to a timetable.

In the evening, yet another house meeting about the subject of loneliness. Little anybody here can do about my loneliness.

Monday, 23 May 1966	KCT
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No letters today, but stuff arrived from DPS - CE, Pan F, and large paper, but, despite my request, no lists - they are all getting rather slack lately. Ah well. The 20×24 paper is going to be really difficult to handle.

After breakfast, did a bit of tidying up, and little else besides, and before long time 'twas time for assembly, in which Pen made it quite clear that there would be no holiday next weekend, but rather that it would be a “working weekend”, which sounds ominous.

Drax, and after amplifying a statement of Pen's about decibels, gave us a question to do of our own choice, from a paper. At least I managed it.

Then chemistry, in which Clod did not turn up, and talking to Simon and Rick about developing 20×24 (or should I say 50×60?) paper.

Then with Ned about buying a car - he recommends an Austin 7, but will be rather cramped to sleep in.

General inspection affected me little - sat in the common room reading Pop. Photography. Fairweather made my day when he came in with a Brownie without a lens, and enquired whether it should have one.

After lunch, in which I got a letter from Jenny - bless her, she did not get the letter which I wrote on Friday, but wrote nevertheless - replied to her. She came first in the Island sports - good for her. Paul was writing also to his parents, and somehow managed to score a record by writing 12 sides - at least I wrote more sheets - 8. Apparently it was in response to his parents complaining about the short letter he wrote last week, when I wrote 11 pages to Jenny.

Carried on talking after that, and thinking once again about a camera for Jenny. It is beginning to get difficult to find a camera under £20 which is worth having - but we found a Praktica FXII for £25 with f/2,8 Tessar. That might be worthwhile.

Then to tea - it seems that Paul was awl for most of the afternoon, and accordingly did not particularly want to be seen. Hung round the Sheldon room for a time, and then off to the darkroom to develop a film for Paul (in fact, he did most of it himself), and make some prints of Jenny, on this new 10×8 paper, and wasted rather a lot - 2 sheets.

Then glazed the things, and over to the study room, where I made a valiant effort to get my diary up to date, and then got “Lorna Doone” out of the library. I should like to read it again - I enjoyed it last time, before I ever came to England, and should find it so much more interesting now.

Tuesday, 24 May 1966	KCT.
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Oh, God, I am tired - why, I wish I knew. I am longing for the day when 'A' levels are over, and there is no longer much to care about. I have had all this work - I am thoroughly depressed thereby, and am unsure as to how I will last the term out.

No mail - I was half-expecting one from Jenny, but only because my calculations were wrong - I should half-expect one tomorrow.

Did little after breakfast - I wish I could only be alone.

Double physics, and Pad came in at the beginning of the period and gave us a question to do about AC, etc, which I found of no great difficulty, but discovered when he did it on the board that I had by no means done it as well as could I have done.

After that, flute lesson with Mrs Mills, of whom I am thoroughly sick - she only gave me half an hour, and I would have completed much more had I not also wanted it to end.

After break, not much to do, and so reading “Lorna Doone”. It is an excellent book, if somewhat long, and even long winded. But it holds ones interest, for all that.

After lunch, up to the sheldon room, and there had some coffee, and spoke with Pauls and others about photography - but other people in there tried to mock us. I have quite a decided feeling that that place is going to the dogs - there are too many dregs in it now.

Not exactly the same opinion I had a few days earlier.

Then double maths, for which I was somewhat late, and he spent about an hour going over our prep, and then on again to coördinate geometry, and conices, about which I am by no means happy. Still, he has given us oodles of prep, which ought to demonstrate something.

After that, driving lesson, and Mrs. Lewis decided that I could drive well enough to get us out on the other side of town, and so I did, too, and then she stopped us and told us all about the theory of making turns. They certainly don't leave any stone unturned, besides, she is rather pleasant to talk to.

Then out onto the open road - we cover quite a bit of ground on these things, and I think it was rather pleasant generally - especially now that Johnson and King are not quite as jerky as they used to be.

On the way back through town (I was driving again), asked her about the pros and cons of taking my test at the end of this term. She thought it unlikely, but said I might as well book an appointment, and the sooner the better. I find it rather difficult getting off at the lights.

In the evening, found the mechanics very difficult, and did very little of it.

Wednesday, 25 May 1966	KCT.
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AP this morning, and as a result I was not too worried about not having a letter from Jenny - for I was half-expecting one. But I shall definitely write to her tomorrow, just as she wrote to me over the weekend.

After breakfast, in the Sheldon room. Paul never comes up then - presumably he is too busy washing and making his bed, which I do before breakfast.

The weather being lousy again, we had PE indoors; and after Sarge had exhausted us with several excercises [sic], he made us play basketball; and, strange to say, our side won by quite a margin, although Simon Atkinson kept treading on my toes.

Then study, for the whole 6th form - Pen has been quite slack with his lectures.

Physics with Pad, and Paul Callow and I were blessed with what little knowledge Pad had of radioactivity.

After break, maths, which we spent doing another paper - don't really suppose there is much else to do. But I really wish I were better at maths.

This revision is depressing me - we are now on it in chemistry as well, with just the odd monologue by Clod to liven it up.

After lunch, got an exeat from Jimmy, and, missing Choir practice, went down town, and deposited some money into the bank, got a new cheque book, and an application for a driving test.

Then back, with thoughts about ultra-wide angle lenses, inspired by Practical Photography's do-it-yourself retrofocus job. I would like to see how much barrel distortion they get.

Reading Lorna Doone, which is an excellent good book, and thus until nearly teatime; when being a bit generally fed up, I did a bit of soothing recorder practice, but I must get some more music - I am getting a bit fed up of opus 1.

After tea, roll call, discovered that the darkroom was going begging, and so got a roll of 20×24 paper, and up to the darkroom to make a dirty great blow-up of Jenny.

Dozens of obstacles, first of all getting the necessary blow-up - did it on the wall.

After several 2½×3½ tests, I finally exposed a sheet of 20×24, and then had to develop the grot, which we did in a 10×8 dish folded over double. Popsy went though the roof about us washing it in the Sheldon room bath, and after supper Pad blew up about us glazing it in the Darkroom - had to take it to Stoneleigh.

Thursday, 26 May 1966	KCT
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Letter, as I had hoped and expected, from Jenny this morning, but that was not the end of it, for 2 more also came: one from Lokman b. Mohd Nor, and a note from Wallace Heaton thanking me for my order for auto extension tubes, and regretting that they were out of stock thereof, but would send them on as soon as possible, which would be in 2 or 3 weeks time.

After breakfast, knowing what a busy day lay ahead, over to Stoneleigh and started writing a letter to Jenny.

After assembly, rather depleted mechanics - most people were doing Use of English.

Then physics with Pad, who discovered, rather to his disgust, that we knew nothing about diffraction, and proceeded to tell us.

No lecture - Pen really is slack - and so finished off my letter to my beloved, which was rather short, on account of so little time.

Double Pad, and on about rectification, which he managed to make terribly complicated. I helped him in the end - he would never have got it out alone.

No wind band practice after lunch - people could not manage it, or something, so we are having it tomorrow at 1645 hrs.

Then divvers, to which few people turned up, and the Chaplain spoke at length about apologising, and brought up some rather gory story about attempted rape - not very nice.

Then first half of double maths, in which Jimmy was rather disturbed that I had not yet started my prep for next Tuesday, but I gave him my word that it would be finished to the best of my ability by that day.

Then to tea, where Paul was discussing the fact that he was a member of the tennis club, and Gautam was telling him how the game is played.

Decided not to go to my music lessons, and sat for a while in the War Memorial Quad, and then to the library, where TDH caught me, and told me that Mr. Fawcett had been waiting for me for half an hour. Feigned innocence, and over and played my A clarinet, which started off squeaking, and eventually fell to bits on me. So much for Araldite.

Then reading Lorna Doone - I had better finish this soon, so as to get it off my mind.

Maths, maths, maths - it makes me sick.

Friday, 27 May 1966	KCT
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No mail of any great importance - just a catalogue from Dayitron [?] and the like - they have improved their sales campaign. Also bank statement - I am £1··2··4 or thereabouts in the black, which suits me until I I [sic] apply for my driving test.

After breakfast, up in the Sheldon room, carefully correlating expenditures to deposits, etc, etc. I have been in the red 3 times for short periods, which rather disturbs me. I must be more careful.

After assembly, in which, contrary to popular opinion and hopes, we were not awarded a whole holiday, double chemistry, in which Clod came in and said we would do an organic practical, and then got so bogged down with questions that we did not get a chance.

Then mechanics, which I spent putting my watch back together after I dropped it on the floor.

After break, study - I must finish Lorna Doone. I can hardly put it down.

Physics, and learning what I can about interference and diffraction. I understand interference, but am not sure how this differs from diffraction.

After lunch, shooting - I missed no. 4 on the snap, and as a result only got 77/80 - still a good marksman. I am rather pleased about that. But then, anybody who can hold a Pentax steady can hold a Lee-Enfield ,22 steady.

Then double Pad, and he spent almost the whole time talking about Pauli's uncertainty principle,

Clearly he was uncertain of his facts.

and how we should all be individualists, and therefore why we should as a result all wear school uniform. Good old Pad. He could make white black, at least to his own satisfaction.

Then to tea, and by the time I got there, Paul was going to play his evening game of tennis - I have no doubt but that he was beaten.

After that, over to Stoneleigh to catch up on Lorna Doone - I was a fool to start reading that book, as I cannot do anything else now. But it is no doubt an excellent book. I would fain see the film, if it bears any resemblance thereto.

After that, had a shower - I was rather in need thereof - and over to Wind Band practice. It is about time I did a bit of practice.

After that, back into prep for a while. Choir practice in 2nd prep, and between the two got no work done.

Saturday, 28 May 1966	KCT
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The mail has been quite fruitful lately, a fact which I view with some equivocality, as it means I will have nothing to complain about of a morning. But although I have not, the letters themselves have. Letters from both Mum and Dad, blowing me sky high because I apparently lacked the common sense to make my on decision about work. Damn. Just because I am not made of the same unrelentless fibre as the are, they reckon all sorts of dire things about me. One can't have everything.

Up to the Sheldon room, and drank a lot of strong coffee. Bev arrives here on Monday - I hope she can come for Speech Day. I would like to see her again.

Maths, and did a bit of “classwork”, and just as i was enjoying myself, Jimmy made me do double maths prep. Ah, I am fed up with maths.

Art is terribly boring, although I listened with relish to some of the gorier adventures of Vincent van Gogh.

Chemistry, and finally we got round to doing a practical, and rather enjoyed it while we were at it, except that I knew what it was before Clod even told us what we had to do.

English - had a period again.

After lunch, did little for a while - talking photography in the Sheldon room, as some people think we do too much. I beg to differ, but my word carries little force.

Then to watch the OA match, which was rather fun, and got some good photos, before David Hargrave suggested I look at some of the fashions walking around - 18 cm above the knee, and all that. I must say, it is very interesting. We soon had quite a crowd around the camera.

Then to the common room to put the camera gear away, and prepared to develop some film - I had quite an order, as only dawned on me slowly.

But it had hit me after roll call, when we went up and developed a rather motley collection, including a 120, two 127, and 4 145-36's, which are lately by far the most popular - probably because we sell our our film in 5ft lengths.

After that, which was a bit of a strain, particularly on washing facilities, off to the Sheldon room, where we stayed until the beginning of prep.

In 2nd prep, driving theory, and we learnt about stopping distances, and how to stay on the road.

Then to the darkroom - Allen had broken the enlarger bulb. Went mad until I discovered the head porter had a 150W ES bulb which would do.

Sunday, 29 May 1966	KCT
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Sunday again, this time Pentecost Sunday, although, as anybody who can count to 50 and speak Greek will know, 50 days after Easter will not be until tomorrow, which is therefore often known as Whitsun Day, as well as Whit Monday, as this diary puts it.

This is what was printed at the top of the page.

Up at a fairly normal time, and not out much before the breakfast bell. I find Sunday breakfast rather depressing always, and today particularly so, and I suspect I will carry on being depressed until the A level season ends in rather over 6 weeks time. And then what? I wish I knew. I suspect my life will not be worth living.

After breakfast, drinking coffee in the Sheldon room, and seeing how the bulb was doing in the enlarger. Not too well, although we had removed the label.

Chapel much as ever, and had a Festival Day procession, which I would have enjoyed more if it had been longer. Hundreds of OA's all over the place together with several attractive women - wives or birds.

After chapel, up to the darkroom with intent to make a couple of 20×24's, but Paul decided to use the room for himself, nor did he want any help, so took some photos in the Art Room (finishing off an EX in the process) and up to the Science Library to order some film.

After lunch, up to the darkrom, and prepared to make a couple of 20×24s, which Popsy had given me permission to wash in the Sheldon room bath,

The Sheldon room had once been a dormitory, in fact the one that I slept in when I first arrived at Kings in September 1962. It was just across the hall from the darkroom.

and so got down to it. Paul's Callow and Hallett were along there, and helped a bit, but Simon and I did most of it ourselves. First one of Jenny on Pan F, which was a little grainy for my liking, but then I discovered I had no really good ones of me even on Pan F, and so the one I did of me for Jenny was taken on Isopan F, developed in Rodinal, with very pronounced grain, but nevertheless, I feel, a rather good photo.

After that, out for a while, then in to develop a film for a negro, who was a friend of Oni's, and then off to hang the prints up to dry - no squeegee, which was a bit of a nuisance.

After roll call, retouching the photo of Jenny with K₃Fe(CN)₆, which is rather dicy [sic] stuff to me, and did not do too well. Will have to do the next with water colours.

Then down to Big School for the showing of “Charade”, and gained 21 new members as a result of the day's proceedings. £5··5··0 - for an outlay of only £2··10··0. Not at all bad.

After supper, in the Sheldon room, after chapel. Stayed there quite some time.

Monday, 30 May 1966	KCT
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Oh, God, depression, depression, and once again depression, although in all honesty it did not really set in until later in the day.

No mail, because it was a bank, and thus Post office, holiday, and no delivery as a result. A demi-Times (14 pages) came, however, and read what I could of that.

After breakfast, did little. My coffee bill in the Sheldon room is going to be rather high, I fear. Still, there is little I can do about that except stop drinking, and I do not want to do that.

After assembly, mechanics. I was the only fellow to get full marks on last week's test. That cheers me up, if nothing else does.

Chemistry - Clod was telling us how to do organic analyses in order that we might not do too badly with Pricky, who came in and gave us some phthalic acid [original was the structural formula] to identify, which I nearly missed, but the last test formed phenolphthalein, and by that recognised it.

After that, no set work for the rest of the day, and decided I could leave any work until after lunch, and write a couple of letters, and did so - 1 to Jenny, as she had done likewise to me last week, and started one to Bev, who has now (unless I am mistaken) landed in England, and tomorrow should fly to Exeter via Jersey.

After that, in the Sheldon room, had a cup of coffee, and decided that, as the sun was shining brightly, and there was nobody on the Padlab terrace, I would do some sunbathing there, and so stripped to the waist. It is rather like an English beach, but not so crowded - tons of gravel.

Then over to Stoneleigh, and had a shower, of which I was by this time in rather great need, and while I was at it, in came some visitors through the changing room. I think one of them was a woman.

There were no shower cabins, of course, just a row of showers along opposite sides of the room.

Tried to do some maths - I can't do any of this! I got so depressed trying it, it just isn't true. I eventually more or less gave up, and spent my time looking at the other photo of Jenny, which I have put up by Pot's [?] desk. It is a much better one of her than the other one, in which her face is slightly fuzzy. I must be more careful about wide apertures in portrait work - the depth of field is almost nonexistant. [sic]

Then off with a view to having some tea, and stopped in the fort to consider a Russian f/2 85 mm lens, which I could fit to my Pentax, going for £26··15··0. It might well be worth getting, although f/1,9 Super Takumar would be cheaper in Singapore - possibly even K.L.

Did even less in the evening - developed a film (which proved to be real FP3) and adjusted the Leica rangefinder, and messed around with my taperecorder.

Tuesday, 31 May 1966	KCT
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AP, for some reason, arrived today, not that I in any way object - just rather surprising. I wonder if they will continue doing that. I think it is a bit silly though - why should a periodical bear any other date than that of its publication? After all, I have already got Popular Photography for July - I wonder when it was published.

After breakfast, when I finally got down to the common room, no letter from Jenny, and so wandered over to the study room, while a state of depression gradually set in.

Double Pad, except that Pad was not there, which helps. I am just counting the days until A levels - 34 until they begin, 42 until they are over (although I suppose one could hardly count the general paper). But when they are, by Jove, I shall be overjoyed. I don't care if I do have to go to some provincial university - what means Cambridge to me?

Then chemistry - more monologue from Clod - and he gave us another paper, just to keep us happy.

After break, in which I discovered I did have a letter from Jenny after all, and which I spent reading it, over to Stoneleigh to try the maths. I can't do any of it.

After lunch, feeling particularly depressed, mainly on account of maths, and off to Stoneleigh to have a shower without first bothering to have some coffee in the Sheldon room, which is far too crowded at this time of the day.

Then double maths, in which I was counting the amount of time I had to live, and after Jimmy had gone over the ones that Norman could not do either, he merely gave us another paper, and told us to get on with that. But that is no way to get out of anything - it is just prolonging the agony (which, I fear, will last until 'A' levels anyway. I must do some revision)

Then driving lesson, and I was rather lamenting the loss of my tea. Mrs. Lewis offered us some acid drops, however, and that helped. Made some comment on my hairstyle - all sorts of people are happier today after a holiday weekend in which the weather was (and still is) wonderful.

I to drive first, though and round town, and had fun messing around in traffic. I am certainly getting used to changing gears now. Had some fun parking - I must brush that up a bit.

The women are looking good round town - I find it difficult to keep my eye on the road, what with all the plunging necklines.

Did little work in prep - Mum & Dad are right, I ought to work harder. Phone call from Bev, arrived VC10 in London. She has met Dave Clark and has 2 of his drumsticks! I wonder what this all means.

For some reason people thought that I looked like Dave Clark, as mentioned in April.

From memory over 50 years later: my mother had arranged for the Dave Clark Five to do a tour in Malaysia. This page can be persuaded to show that they performed in the Stadium Negara on 30 April 1966, which matches. When it came time for them to return, the taxi to the airport didn't show up, so she drove them herself, with Bev between a couple of them on the back seat of the car.

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